You’re the inspiration

Since my blog about American Idol was such a hit last week, I thought I’d try something I’ve always wanted to: a minute-by-minute blog review of the show. So here’s my rundown of the remaining eight contestants singing “inspirational” songs. Enjoy! (And comment!)

7:01 p.m.: Stupid Ryan introduces Paula, and I wonder what in the world she has on. That dress really, er, lifts. She’s definitely got some “product placement” going on.

7:02 p.m.: Hot Michael Johns has on another cravat, except not. It’s a tie sort of tied around his neck. I think he’s beautiful, but really, he’s sort of giving me a Fred from Scooby Doo vibe. And for his inspirational song, he picks, you guessed it, Aerosmith’s “Dream On.” And the falsetto screaming was. . . weird. Good, not great. Randy says it’s OK; Paula loves it; Simon says it’s an impression.

7:07 p.m.: first commercial break. Seriously, I think Americans must have tiny attention spans.

7:11 p.m.: Ryan interviews Syesha about silly Ramiele. Syesha interviews that she’s singing “I Believe” by Fantasia. Maybe she figures a good way to get votes is relying on former Idols’ songs. I think it’s a dumb tactic. I don’t hear most of the performance since Muffin is in trouble at this point. What I do hear and see is pretty good vocally and a pretty boring performance. Randy says she didn’t have the “personal connection;” Paula defends Syesha and says it was good (surprise!); Simon says it was technically good but lacked emotion. Which is true. Preach it, Simon. I don’t know if Syesha knows exactly who she is as a singer yet. And she’s not very discerning when it comes to song selection. This is American Idol. Don’t pick a song a previous winner sang when she won.

7:16 p.m.: Seriously, Jason Castro’s singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” And playing a ukulele. I like this kid when he’s embracing his inner Jack Johnson. This is good, low-key. He’d be great in a coffeehouse. With a mocha and a big ol’ chocolate chip cookie. Randy thinks it’s blazing hot; Paula says he has a definitive sound on the guitar (which he wasn’t playing); Simon said it was fantastic, which it was.

7:24 p.m.: Kristy Lee Cook is singing Martina. Wow, that’s going to be interesting. And in the interview, she says “just do it anyways.” With the s. I cringe inwardly. There’s a bit of a pitch problem at the beginning and whenever she’s in her lower register. But it’s country, which is Kristy’s roundhouse. And she does OK, but nothing like Martina. And she does weird contortions with her body when she sings. Randy loved it but pointed out pitch problems; Paula, of course, loved it; Simon says she was very, very good indeed. I guess my desire for her to get kicked off won’t happen this week. It was definitely one of her best performances, but she’s just not the same caliber of most of the other contestants.

7:33 p.m.: David Cook is singing “Innocent” by his fave, Our Lady Peace. The message “speaks to him” and says everyone has a good heart at the end of the day. Hmm. It starts out in a weird voice. . . and he’s got his Panic at the Disco! jacket on. This song is weird and the melody jumps all around. Halfway through it gets good, and David goes out into the crowd and sings to the judges. I’m really unsure how I feel about it. Randy pays compliments, but says it wasn’t a strong performance (I agree!); Paula says he was great and has the whole package; Simon didn’t like it and says it was pompous. David looks beautiful, though, exceptin’ the jacket. I still love him.

7:37 p.m.: Carly is singing Queen! Interesting choice. There’s a big orchestra and everything. Carly’s hair and makeup look great for once. I’m not sure about the outfit. Those pants pretty much come up to her armpits. She does an OK job. I don’t think she connects with anything emotionally. Maybe she’s animatronic. Randy says it was OK; Paula agrees; Simon says she came off as angry and might have made a bad choice.

7:46 p.m.: Ryan interviews the Archuleta. Lil’ David talks about his practicing schedule. He says it was hard to pick a song and finally picked “Angels” or somesuch. (Except I thought he said “Angles” and actually typed that. Clearly, that’s not what he said.) He plays the piano and sings another freaking ballad. Randy loves the amazing song and the runs the Archuleta did at the end; Paula loved it; Simon says it was the best song choice of the night, but not the best vocal. I think I agree. Am I like Simon’s nicer clone?

I ponder this thought while commercials play. I peer out the window at a creepy truck parked outside my condo with the lights on. Just sitting there. I close the blinds. They drive off. That was weird. Should I be creeped out?

7:55 p.m.: Brooke is singing Carol King’s James Taylor recorded “You Got a Friend.” I love James Taylor. She stands at the mic and doesn’t look into the camera right off. Make eye contact, girl! It’s a good song choice. The dress is unfortunate, though. But Brooke just makes me happy when she walks onto the stage. She always comes off as sincere and pure. Randy says it wasn’t the best; Paula says it’s a fave of hers and Brooke is “definitive” (must be her word of the night); Simon says it was nice, a pleasant walk in the park, but not original. I still love her.

7:59 p.m.: Ryan tries to calm an emotional Brooke and intros the numbers.

The breakdown: Michael didn’t light my fire like last week; Syesha was OK singing Fantasia; Jason Castro rocks the ukulele and the coffeehouse crowd; Kristy Lee Cook sings Martina, which few people should attempt; David dresses like Panic at the Disco! and sings a song that doesn’t showcase his voice; Carly angrily performs Queen; the Archuleta plays and sings; Brooke emotionally implores us to just “call out her name” because we’ve got a friend.

My picks for the bottom this week: Syesha, Carly, and possibly Kristy Lee, Brooke, and (gasp!), I can’t believe I’m suggesting this, David Cook, whom I love, but if this were just based on performances. . .

Going home? Syesha or Carly. My wish? Kristy Lee.