You’re going to grow up, and you’re going to get lost.

This past weekend, I got a chance to go to Andrew Peterson’s CD release concert for Light for the Lost Boy. I wasn’t getting to go to Hutchmoot this year for various reasons, but I sure wasn’t going to miss the concert. So on Friday night, exhausted after a crazy week, a friend and I stopped in at Chuy’s for dinner, then went on to Lipscomb where the concert was being held.

I expected to enjoy the concert. I didn’t expect to start crying in the middle of most of the songs, though, and leave feeling like I’d been through therapy and a worship experience.

There are several songs on the album that speak to me. I find myself singing “The Voice of Jesus” often. But when I listen to the CD in the car, it’s track 9, “You’ll Find Your Way” that I play on repeat for entire commutes.

Written for one of Andrew’s sons, it’s a song about growing up and what’s going to happen and advice from a father to a son: keep to the old roads, the ancient paths, and you’ll find your way back home. There’s a line in that song that completely slays me: “You’re going to grow up, and you’re going to get lost.”

It has stopped me in my tracks every time I’ve listened to the song because it’s so true. It’s the thing I’d tell myself if I were writing a letter to young Mandy about to set out in the world on her own. That everything you think you know about yourself and God and life in general is going to get tested. That some things you think you are right aren’t. There will be deep dark moments of grief and loss that threaten to drown you. That loneliness is heavier and more powerful than you ever imagined. That you can feel alone in a crowded room. That your capacity for sin is deeper than you ever imagined. That God’s grace isn’t dependent on you or a list of rules you keep, but that it’s more like being plunked into the deep end of the ocean. Splash and fight His grace all you want, you can’t escape it and He longs immerse you in it. That you will have doubts and question God’s purposes. That in complete and total failure, you can find a God who doesn’t fail, who doesn’t leave, who loves you at your ugliest.

You’re going to grow up, and you’re going to get lost. And it’s OK. This is the God who is both the builder and the wrecking ball. And when you place your life in His hands, you can trust Him. Entirely. It won’t always make sense. It won’t be easy or safe or always follow the plans you’ve made for yourself. But it will be worth it.