Words of “wisdom”

Two nights ago, I sat in a high school gym and watched my high school alma mater play in an annual Christmas tournament.

Basketball and this particular tournament have been a tradition in my family and my home town since, well, the beginning of time, it seems like.

I have fond memories of the Christmas Tournament, first as a child who got to go see her friends over Christmas break, show off new clothes, and watch basketball, then as a cheerleader who desperately wanted her team to win.

I remember the competition, the feeling that everything was riding on this game. The deep desire to win. The depression when we didn’t or the elation when we did. I remember trophy ceremonies, when teams who’d played earlier in the day were dressed in slacks and shirts and ties and the first and second place teams accepted their trophies in sweaty, game-worn uniforms.

Oh, I remember the way that tournament felt as a teenager. And I remembered it well when I watched it as an adult two nights ago. I remembered the way it felt when try as you might, your team couldn’t win the game. I remembered the taunts of the rival team, the way it felt when your biggest rival (who we often weren’t even playing against) showed up at our game just to shout insulting things or mock the cheerleaders. I remember the feeling that the future depended on how this game turned out.

I remember all that, which is why I’d like to offer a few words of wisdom to today’s teens:

1. These aren’t the best days of your life. High school is high school. It’s a big deal and then it’s over. Don’t let it become the best time of your life, because really it’s not. So many great (and terrible) things are going to happen to you after you leave those hallowed halls. And someday, hopefully, you’ll look back and realize that winning or losing that game wasn’t the defining moment of your life. The defining moments don’t generally come with such pomp and circumstance.

2. Don’t believe everything you hear. Remember those taunts and insults I was talking about? The ones that made me so angry as a teenager? Or the lies about myself and my worth I foolishly believed? Yeah, those basically aren’t worth listening to. They hurt so much right now and you may think there’s a kernel of truth in there, but there’s really not. Don’t let lies shape who you think you are.

3. ENJOY your life. It seems like high school is going to last forever, but it doesn’t. Enjoy the good moments. Take the time to let the wonder of that Christmas tournament, the love of the game, the cheering crowd to make its mark on you. If you lose the game, learn from your mistakes and move on. Remember the way it felt to make that basket or throw that stunt or to just be there. Don’t hurry through your life thinking you’ve got to get to the next big thing—you’ll miss out on all the little, beautiful, life-defining moments if you do!