What dreams may come

Usually, when I have a dream that I actually remember, it’s a good one. Once, I very vividly dreamed that I was an undercover cop and had to arrest my high school cheerleading sponsor and her daughter. One time I dreamed that Andrew Peterson showed up at my mom and dad’s house for some sort of event that involved eating cake. I used to have a recurring dream that I was pregnant.

I’m guessing you see where this is leading. Last night, I had a dream that struck me as weird. Let me preface this tale by saying that I did have coffee around 7:30 or 8 p.m. And I did speed read to finish a book before I went to sleep. And I was watching “Forensic Files” when I fell asleep. OK, as Wayne and Garth would say, doo doo loo doo doo (dream sequence!):

Apparently, Dream Mandy was on a cruise of some sort. [This was probably influenced by the fact that a friend/acquaintance of mine just got back from a cruise that stopped in places like Rome and Greece and I’m admittedly very jealous.] Anyway, I was on a cruise. Which is weird in and of itself, since I’m the person who got seasick on the ferry going from the harbor in Charleston to Fort Sumter. And my family members, encouraging Barnabas-types that they are, either laughed, were confused, or offered me peanut butter crackers, which A) I don’t like and B) did they really think those would make me feel better? OK, back to the story. I was on a cruise. And out of nowhere, Mindy appears. [Probably because I hung out with her last night when she got all her hair chopped off.] So we’re on a cruise together. And at some point, we meet this group of guys, with one of whom, I fall endlessly, hopelessly, and immediately in love, a lot like Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility. Me and this guy—who really had no face in my dream, but some awesome hair—hit it off. After this one meeting, I’m the smitten kitten, and he gives me a hot pink cell phone. Because, A) he always carries it with him, “just in case,” and B) we can now talk for free (?). First of all, if any guy actually did this, I would be highly freaked out. Why would I want to date someone who carried around cell phones to give out to girls at a moment’s notice? Seems desperate and forward to me in real life, but Dream Mandy loved it. I was so proud of my hot pink phone in the dream. So then, it’s apparently time for dinner, which is a dressed up affair. Mindy and I come down to the dining room, see the table of guys, but ignore them. Wow, we’re pulling out the catty girl skills in this dream. Instead of going to sit with them or being ushered to another table near enough to make them suffer for the entire dinner (in true girl fashion), we’re taken to a side room where we proceed to try on dresses for the dinner. I really don’t know why. Basically, though, everything we put on looks great. I mean, for once in my life, dream and real, I’m hot. Mindy talks me out of a white dress and into a blue one, and we’re apparently ready for dinner. [I think this part of the dream was influenced by my stop at Ross last night in search of a dress to wear to a wedding tomorrow. I had no luck. In one, I looked like a waitress. In the other, a member of the Junior League.] Anyway, we then take a seat at a table, pointedly ignoring the guys and the dude I’m so in love with, the giver of the pink phone. By the way, he’s wearing a blue, silky sports coat with embroidered M’s all over it. It was quite frightening. Why would my dream guy wear that? After trying to ignore the stares and play hard to get, we finally give in and move over to sit with the boys.

And I wake up. And wonder what in the world my subconscious is up to. There you have it, boys and girls. This is what happens to your brain on caffeine and exhaustion.