Tracks of my tears

I’m  a crier.

Let’s just get that out there. If you’ve known me long, you’ve seen me tear up at movies, wipe away tears while reading a book on a plane, and sometimes dab my eyes during church. And you’ve probably laughed at me.

I’m OK with that. I’ve accepted that my tear ducts are well developed and that I’m quite the tenderheart. As a coworker pointed out the other day, I sometimes cry when I’m really angry and sometimes when I’m happy. And when, I’m sad, well, folks, it ain’t pretty. Whoever teaches actresses to cry prettily needs to work with me, because no one would want a close-up of this face when I’m sobbing in true moments of despair and grief.

But last night, I took my crying to a whole new superficial level. Usually, I can justify a reason for tears when watching TV or reading a novel: something sad happened, something meaningful happened, the soldier son came home, a character died. But last night, I started watching the season finales of “Bones” and “House” on FOX. These are two shows I like, but wouldn’t be all that upset if I didn’t see them. But the commercials looked good, so I set up my ironing board, grabbed the clothes to be ironed, and set to work as I watched TV. And I found myself wiping away tears at the end of “Bones,” all for a character I wasn’t even that invested in. It just made me cry that he had disappointed so many and they all blamed themselves. Then came “House.” And once again, a character I didn’t even like was dying, and I was crying. The goodbye scenes reminded me of those days in the hospital with Grandma last August. The final scene between House and his best friend, Wilson, made me cry for the consequences of our actions, for how devastatingly selfish we can be. I’m not even sure the writers wrote these scenes to be sad. I’m pretty sure they didn’t expect tears from a come-and-go fan.

So by 9 p.m., I was emotionally spent. And feeling a little stupid for all the crying. (Mind you, it was not sobbing, like when the dog died in My Dog Skip!) So laugh all you want! Laugh until you cry! I’ll have some Kleenex for you, because Lord knows, I might cry, too!