This one’s for the guys

I must begin this post by telling you a little story, all of it true.

The other night, when driving around south Nashville, I had to stop at a red light. While sitting there, I heard someone talking and looked around. I quickly realized it was the guy in the passenger’s seat of the car next to me, and he was talking. . . . to me. Unfortunately, we made eye contact. I tried the whole smile-and-look-away tactic, trying to be polite but not encouraging. This did not work, as he continued to talk, saying “excuse me, excuse me” over and over. I thought for a minute they might be lost and need directions, so I (stupidly) rolled down my window. Directions were not what they needed. The guy informed me I was “as cute as hell” and he was “anxious to meet me.” Then he asked if there were any way he could get my number. I shook my head, rolled up the window, and magically, the light changed, making this awkward encounter blissfully brief.

OK, guys, I know most of the guys I know would not use this tactic to try to pick up a girl, because, really, how do you think this is going to work out for you? Do you think this is the best first impression you can make, hanging out of your car window with all you friends trying to get a girl in another car to give you her number? Because I have news for you: it’s not a good idea!

You may mean every word you say, but guys, here’s the truth from a girl: we don’t believe you mean it when you do this, especially in front of all the boys. And while it is oddly flattering that you’re actually making an effort to talk to us, as pitiful an effort that it is, we don’t think you mean it and we don’t think you’re treating us the respect we deserve. Because, really, it’s sort of a low class, trashy way to meet a girl.

On top of that, telling a girl she’s cute is kind of a bad idea. You probably mean it in a nice way, but to a girl, what you’re saying is interpreted as “you’re cute and OK to look at, but definitely not beautiful.” And for all the girls who have been called “cute” all their lives, like me, we’re all well aware that we’re not drop-dead gorgeous—but we’d like to think that there’s one guy out there who thinks that we are. So if you start out with cute, you’re already losing points.

So take this trip into the mind of girl for what it is and think before you ask for some girl’s phone number at the stop light. And. don’t. do. it.