This is why I shouldn’t wear white

You know, today started out OK. I got out of bed after one hit of the snooze button, even though I didn’t want to. I picked out clothes without 10 minutes of indecision and shirt-changing. And I didn’t have to iron anything. My hair dried moderately quickly. (As a side note, I hate drying my hair. If anyone would like to pay for me to have a stylist every morning, I’d appreciate it.) Anyway, I packed my breakfast (oatmeal) and lunch quickly and efficiently. I got in my car and noticed the “check engine” light, which lights up EVERY time I get gas even though I’m OCD about tightening the gas cap, was off. I got to work quickly and didn’t have to yell at any idiots or people who drive in the exit lane. It was a good day.

Then, things started to go downhill. I decided to park in the parking garage at work so my black leather interior didn’t leave second degree burns when I got in this afternoon. But I pulled in way too far from the thing that scans your badge and opens the door, so I had to submit to the humiliation of opening my door AND hanging out the window to get the reader to scan my badge. But that was OK in the big scheme of things. I decided to walk up the stairs in an attempt to be healthy. And then I remembered this article I read in “Fitness” magazine one time that said to attack the stairs every time you walk them because it’s a little burst of cardio. So I did. I arrived at the Plaza level out of breath, and I’d spilled frappuccino on my hand. Great.

I go on to my office. I fix my oatmeal. I sit down to drink my dark chocolate mocha frappuccino (seriously, try these. You buy them at the grocery store). Anyway, that’s when it happens. I spill a little frappuccino because apparently, I need a sippy cup. Guess where that frappuccino goes? Yep, right on my white skirt. Fun times.

I did get the stain out with a little cold water, paper towels, and blotting. But I’m tired of showing up at work with wet spots all over me, because I apparently can’t NOT spill.

That adult bib Emily and I have discussed marketing is sounding better and better.