Things I’ve learned

My mom taught kindergarten for years and developed a love for the book All I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten. Today I give you the list of things (varied and random) that I’ve learned in the last year or so. These appear in no particular order, except the one they occurred to me in.

1. Never, no, never actually guess when someone says, “Hey, how old do you think I am?” Especially if it’s Ms. Virginia who sits beside you in the choir. And gets very offended when you pick like 80, and she’s actually in her, say, early 70s. Seriously. Do not fall prey to this evil trick.

2. Women and men are fundamentally different, especially in the way we communicate. We girls, yeah, we’re catty. We say one thing and totally mean something completely opposite. And we expect men, who say exactly what they mean most of the time, to get it and actually do the thing we want them to but have told them not to do but really secretly want them to actually do. Case in point: most women say something like this around Valentine’s Day: Valentine’s Day is so stupid. I don’t like getting flowers; they just die. Guys take us at our word. What we’re actually saying and hoping they do is: Yes, Valentine’s Day is stupid, and the flowers may die, and I don’t want him to spend a lot of money, but seriously, I would really love it if he bought me the dang flowers. And candy. And jewelry. Or at least remembered to get me something!

3. God is more concerned about my obedience than my happiness. I’m not called to live a life of happiness; I’m called to live one characterized by obedience. And that means that some of the time, I’m just not happy. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. Joy has staying power.

4. The cutest shoes often hurt your feet. But you at least look good until your feet become bloody stumps.

5. When you fall down the stairs, let go of the laundry basket full of dirty clothes. The fall won’t hurt the dirty clothes; it will hurt you.

6. Get your tires balanced and your car aligned somewhat regularly. It can result in blow-outs on I-24 if you do not.

7. Sometimes, you have to be at a different time and place in your life to appreciate a certain song, book, or person that you previously couldn’t stand.

8. Rebuilding years for your teams are hard. 9. When you go to Chattanooga (or anywhere, for that matter) for several days on a work trip, ask someone to water the Chia herb garden in your kitchen window if you want your cilantro plants to survive.

10. If you go to Chattanooga, feel sorry for yourself.