The first 12

AI is now blog-worthy. And, oh, I’m in trouble because Ryan’s “This is American Idol” wasn’t all that annoying.

Nope, I was wrong. Stupid Ryan still completely annoys me when he intros the judges. Who now sit at a little desk-y thing off to the side. I think they broadcast the news from there when they’re not shooting AI.

First up is Jackie Tohn singing “Little Less Conversation.” And she is wearing some pants she borrowed from Sandy in the last scene of “Grease.” It’s not a good look. I pretty much hate the whole performance. I don’t think she has the vocal chops. Randy says it’s a good start but he wasn’t blown away; Kara says she can work a stage (true) but didn’t give the best vocals; Paula says she is a true performer; Simon says she was “gimmicky” and that she chose the wrong song, doing something silly rather than good. Oh, Simon. I agree. Sometimes it scares me when we agree like this.

And commercial.

Next up is Ricky Braddy, who is apparently from Nashville. He’s singing “A Song for You” and I like his blazer, but fear his jeans might be too tight. Nothing about the performance really makes me go crazy, but mostly because I think this song is shmaltzy. Randy says it was unbelievable; Kara calls it amazing (maybe I’m jus jaded tonight); Paula talks about how little we’ve seen of this guy and compliments him; Simon says it was very good but he isn’t jumping out of his chair. (Thank you, Simon! Though I’m scared to agree with you again!)

And commercial. Again. Is there going to be a commercial after every contestant. Is that why this episode is 2 hours long?

Next up is Alexis from Memphis. She’s doing Aretha. Oh, boy. That could be great or terrible, no in-between. She’s got the right amount of sass. And great legs. Vocals aren’t the best, but she totally sold the “vibe” of the song. Randy says he loved it; Kara says it was a pleasure to watch her come out of her shell; Paula says the performance was unexpected from someone so young; Simon says she’s the best so far and says she has soul. (Weird camera cut to Neil Patrick Harris and Ted Danson together in the audience. For reals?) I liked Alexis a lot. I hope she gets better as the show goes on.

And commercial. Seriously.

Now it’s Brent Keith. There’s a hilarious tape problem and Ryan makes him feel all awkward. But then Brent starts singing, some country song. Oh, it’s “In a Hick Town.” He’s probably as good as some country singers today who use too much Pro Tools (Tim McGraw) but he’s not the best guy tonight. But he is cute. I give him that. Randy says it was like new country with an old school edge; Kara says he has more in him that what we say (word, Kara!); Paula says his auditions were better than tonight’s performance (yep!); Simon says Brent had one chance and had no impact. Oh, I agree. I am a cold, cold person.

Commercial. I. am. not. kidding.

Next up is Stevie Wright. She sings some Taylor Swift song. . . and I don’t think it was a good choice. The beginning is way too low for her. Then she brings it. But I don’t know if she brings it enough. It’s just a far to middling song and doesn’t showcase her as “The Star.” It’s just OK, but as Mindy says, her nerves got to her. Randy says it was “not hot;” Kara says it was bad song choice; Paula agrees; Simon says it was terrible. The girl has a great voice, this just wasn’t her night. Poor girl. I don’t see her getting to the next round.

Next up, Anoop. He’s doing a Monica song. I think he got a haircut. . . nope, I was wrong. He’s got a great voice. An awesome voice. But the look is lacking. Maybe he needs a stylist? The song/performance is good. One of the best guys so far. Randy says he was sharp throughout the whole song (I’m still on the phone with my brother); Kara says the riffs weren’t there, but he was connected to the song; Paula says America will vote for him; Simon questions the choice of the song and says it was too grown-up. But Anoop is very geniune and sincere. I think Simon is a bit harsh at this point and quit listening.In my opinion, he was good.

I’m betting there’s a commercial. Yes, I am RIGHT! Pay up, people.

It’s Casey Carlson singing next. She’s cute, but wears a hat that looks dumb throughout the entire interview. I have a fedora; I like fedoras, but she wears it too far back on her head because of the bangs and it’s just not so cool. She’s singing The Police. I’m scared for her. Opening isn’t great. She does weird things with her mouth while singing, at one point snarling and opening her mouth WAY too much. She does these riffs that just aren’t great. I’m not listening anymore—except I think she just went a bit flat. I apologize to Sting for her. Randy says it wasn’t good and weirdly karaoke; Kara says it was ALL wrong and overdone; Paula says she is exquisitely beautiful but the song choice was terrible and phrasing was weird (Mindy, you SAID THAT!); Simon uses the word “atrocious” and says it was karaoke. She basically blew her opportunity.

And. . . wait for it. . . commercial break!

Finally it’s Michael Sarver, the oil rig roughneck guy. He’s singing Gavin Degraw. Oh, boy. He’s a bit off at the beginning, which is understandable, since the melody of this song is hard to find in the verse. There’s a weird moment in which he stops singing and lets the back ups carry the song when he should be singing, and while I like him, his voice gets a bit guttural sometimes. Randy says he sure can sing, but the verse was weird (it’s a problem with the song); Kara says it’s a crowd pleaser, but not the best performance; Paula says he did Gavin proud; Simon says . . . a bunch of stuff but says he hopes that America votes him in because he’s so nice.

Anne Marie from Nashville is up. She’s a waitress and demo singer. Which could hurt because it’s not about you as the star as a demo singer. She’s doing “Natural Woman.” The beginning is boring, frankly. I feel like she and the band aren’t together and are slowing down the beat weirdly. she’s definitely a good singer, but there were some weird moments. Randy says it was not a good choice; Kara says she needed to kill the song and should have done something like Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song;” Paula says she gave it her all; Simon says she’d be a good hotel singer, but the voice isn’t good enough for the song. Word, Simon, word. I think you’re right and I wanted her to do well.

Guess what? Commercial!

Finally, it’s Stephen Fowler, singing Michael Jackson “Rock with You.” Oh, boy. It better be stellar or the judges will eviscerate him. It isn’t stellar; they are brutal. Randy says it was not a great song choice; Kara agrees; Paula congratulates him for remembering the lyrics and says some more non-sensical stuff; Simon says it was pointless. Oh, Simon. You speak truth, but couldn’t you try to do it with more tact and gentleness?

Commercial. Then Tatiana. I must find smelling salts in order to deal with this. Or something.

Tatiana Del Toro is ready to go. I sort of want to hurt myself rather than watch this. Her hair looks better, though. She’s singing Whitney Houston. Ack! I hate her outfit and her fake lashes. And there’s some weird swaying, but I have to say the girl can sing. The last note was a little scary, though. Randy says she impressed him a few times; Kara says it’s like a roller coaster ride with her (uh, yeah); Paula says there were beautiful and pitchy moments; Simon calls her a drama queen (true that!) and that the demure thing was scary (I’m scared she’s going to lose it at any moment).

And finally, it’s Danny, my early fave! He’s a church music director, 28, and I don’t think he’s too young for me. Yes, I said that. I just love this guy. He’s doing “Hero” by Mariah Carey and he wants to encourage people. I’m crushing on him more now. I admit I’m biased about him, but I think he was great. Randy says it was “blazing hot;” Kara calls it incredible; Paula is dumb; Simon says it was good but not fantastic. I will say Simon is probably speaking truth, but I still think he was the best guy of the night. I think Danny knows about the plans and a future God has for him. That’s why I love him so much!

My picks: Alexis and Danny, for sure. In my opinion, at least. Maybe Anoop? Perhaps Michael Sarver? Or, gasp, Tatiana? I mean she was good, people, as much as I hate to admit it.