Overheard

It’s “Fake Friday” as my friend Buddy is calling today for those of us who get Friday off for the July 4 holiday. And I cared so little about how I looked today that I actually came to work with my hair in a ponytail. And I tried to leave my house with my coffee cup on top of my car until a neighbor walking her dog alerted me (Scott, don’t tell me this is another sign from God to cut back on coffee. I’ll come to NOLA and hit you. You doubt me?!)

Anyway, all of that aside, my brain is pretty scattered and I’m unable to come up with something witty, insightful, or even interesting to say. So I’ll just give you some things I’ve “overheard” lately.

A conversation reported to me via Facebook between my dad and my cousin, Mallory: Dad: I was pretty suave when I was younger. Mallory: What do you mean? Like the soap? (This conversation apparently then began a discussion about my dad’s leisure suit back in the day and his “Jack Tripper” haircut. I told Mal to ask my dad about the short shorts rage of the late 70s/early 80s. There are pictures in which my dad looks like he borrowed items from Jack Tripper’s closet. Oh, wow, what will the generations to come say about my fashions?!)

A conversation between me and Mindy: Mindy: I’m not blind; he’s good-looking. His hair is cute. Mandy: Cute is not the word, Mindy. Sexy is. But you can’t ever tell anyone I said that.

On passing the “Southern Store” outside of Travelers Rest, SC, which was displaying a rebel flag and other paraphanelia: Mike: You girls want to stop in there? Get you a T-shirt? A flag?

At Falls Park in Greenville, SC, while watching a random dude serenade his date: Mike (singing): We’ll have Coke and Mountain Dew, but nothing is as cute as you. In explanation, we couldn’t hear the song and were making up lyrics. We then decided that he was singing the ever romantic “Sweet Home Alabama.”

Before getting into my car today, when a random dog strolled up to me: Me: Hi, Puppy! You’re cute. What’s up? Where’d you come from? (Yes, I actually tried to have a conversation with a dog.) Random Dog just wags his tail and stares at me longingly. Once in my car, he tried to chase my tires, which was a bit scary because I didn’t want to run over someone’s pet! But apparently, he’s gotten in trouble for that before because when I gave him a “Momma” look from the driver’s seat, he immediately sat on the ground and wagged his tail at me. I wish this look worked on: A)my own dog and B) other people in my life.

When working on cover tags for an issue of the magazine which features a story on the dangers of pornography: Emily: You are a murderer of love! (That’s actually from the movie “Dan in Real Life,” but Emily suggested some form of it, not seriously as the cover blurb for the infamous porn story. And I laughed, because really, I don’t think my sense of humor ever left junior high.)

On the day after Michael Jackson died, making a suggestion to coworkers: Me: Let’s have a Moon Walk contest! Coworkers: (blank stares and thoughts of “you’re a crazy dork” that I can clearly decipher from their expressions.)

A conversation with someone about a meeting I couldn’t attend: Me: Who was there? Other person: S. (this is a real person and I use just an initial.) Me: Oh. . . .(concerned face). Was she. . . .chatty? Other Person: Oh, yeah. But she was one of the more. . .(searching for the word). . . normal ones. Me: Normal one? Oh, wow!

That, my friends, is all I’ve got for today. It’s a full day of work, then a run, then hopefully some dinner and maybe some fun!