Night of the Diva

So I had Bible study last night (it’s usually on Thursdays, but got moved because of. . . something I can’t remember.) Anyway, I had Bible study while “American Idol” was on! But, before you all get too sad, the whole Bible study crowded into Kirk and Julianne’s basement to watch it on Tivo afterward. So while you may not get a minute-by-minute review, you do get something.

First of all, Stupid Ryan was back to inane prattle, jabbering on about how surprising the loss of Hot Michael Johns was last week. It still hurts, Ryan. Let’s talk about your uncalled-for cruelty in the way you announced that he was leaving. Oh, you don’t want to. Let’s start the show then.

Mariah’s here; things are going to get interesting. Randy, Paula, and Simon (OK, mostly Randy and Simon) have spent years telling Idol-wannabes to refrain from singing Whitney, Mariah, or any other divas songs because that invites extreme comparison. And now they’re actually encouraging them to do the very thing they’ve told them not to do. Hmm. I think this show is schizophrenic.

The Archuleta kicked things off with “When You Believe.” It was good. Really good. Sometimes I get caught up in other things and forget that this kid can downright sing. This performance caused Kirk to say, “That’s my baby!” I still want him as a pet (the Archuleta, not Kirk!). Anyway, Randy loved it; of course Paula loved it; and Simon said it was a good performance.

Carly Smithson hit the stage next and interviewed that she misses Hot Michael Johns and says it’s boring without him. Ryan, of course, takes the easy opportunity to call all the other contestants boring. Oh, Ryan, seriously. You don’t have to swing at everything that comes across the plate. Carly sings “Without You.” It’s good; it’s just not GOOD. I sometimes feel like she’s screaming at me. Randy said it was good but that she lacks confidence in her lower register; Paula liked it (duh!); and Simon didn’t think she quite pulled it off. I must say, I agree.

Syesha is up next, wearing a gold dress with a bodice that looks like some sort of battle garb. There’s definitely “product placement” going on. She sings “Vanishing.” I admit, not being a huge Mariah fan, I don’t know this song. It’s good, technically, really good, but I’m bored. Then she gets to this part and just wails on it, doing all these runs and craziness. I’m impressed, but not emotionally connected. I think the girl has a great voice, I just don’t connect. Sorry! Randy says it was OK; Paula lauds her for choosing a song not a lot of people would know and therefore avoiding comparison (which shows a striking amount of clarity and thoughtfulness on Paula’s part); and Simon says it was technically good, but that he wouldn’t choose a song few people know at this stage of the game. I’m confused. You yell at her for doing all diva songs (and she has been going through the diva catalog!) and now you yell at her for not doing them. Whatever.

Beautiful Brooke is up next. I love Brooke; I like her straightforward presentation and pure voice. I’m not sure she’s exactly “American Idol” material, though. (Although, really, was Taylor Hicks?) Anyway, Brooke does “Hero.” This is completely out of her comfort zone. She sits at the piano and plays and sings (with her shoe off to work the pedals, which I like because I do that, too.) Anyway, it’s pretty decent in the beginning, not great, not awful. I like the bridge. She really went for the simple, straightforward presentation. But somewhere toward the end, she gets nervous and kind of loses it vocally. Randy agrees with me; Paula says it was a little off but good that she chose the arrangement she did; Simon makes a weird analogy about a hamburger and says Brooke did the best she could with what she had. Which is true, as much as I love Brooke.

And then it was Kristy Lee Cook. Who annoys me. This week, she annoys me by being good on “Forever.” And as much as I can’t stand her, I have to admit the girl has shown marked improvement. (Someone I’m watching it with does say that it reminds them of Olivia Newton John singing in Grease, which makes me laugh, though!) Randy acknowledges her improvement; Paula does too; Simon said she managed and it wasn’t great. I agree. While it wasn’t amazing, I’m constantly amazed that Kristy Lee appears to be pulling out all the stops to stay on this show.

When David Cook said he was going to do “Always Be My Baby,” I said, out loud, that I really wasn’t sure about this. From the look on Mariah’s face in the video package, neither was she. I love David Cook, but I was really doubting him at that point. But, dude, the boy brought it. Yeah, it wasn’t like Billie Jean. It was a bit pitchy. But it was a performance! And the arrangement, as Mariah said, was haunting. He took a song known for a certain upbeat style and made it about unrequited, painful, haunting love. Good job! Randy stands up and claps; Paula makes a weird comment about it being in a movie soundtrack (seriously, take some notes!); Simon says he’s just come out of “karaoke hell” to a breath of fresh air and congratulates David Cook on being daring. I forgive you for the Panic! at the Disco jacket from last week. The crush is back at full force!

And to round out the show, Jason Castro. He does “I Don’t Want to Cry” and it sounds like a Spanish guitar on a beach around a campfire. I’m a bit worried because he’s not playing a guitar, which is always awkward for Jason. But he finds a way to make even this song fit into his Jack Johnson mellow vibe (BTW, did anyone see that skit on SNL last weekend? Cracked me up!) Anyway, he’s good. Randy says he didn’t get it; Paula said she loved it; Simon agrees with Paula. Wow! Paula and Randy have a weird conversation about beef and no one knows what they’re talking about, including them.

Bottom three? Carly, Brooke, Syesha

Going home? Possibly Brooke!