My life is defined by awkward moments

Yes, yes it is.

Yesterday I had to go to the doctor for the “get-established” visit. And after I got there, I realized that your first visit to a new doctor is a little like an extremely awkward first date. You don’t really know each other, just kind of about each other, your conversation is stilted. Someone always takes the incentive and asks a lot of questions. You don’t want to be caught staring. You gaze at each other awkwardly. It’s really a great experience. I’ve never had a first date end with getting a tetanus shot, though, which is a plus. Sadly, I’m pretty sure some have ended with me and the guy shaking hands—quite similar to the doctor’s visit. Bleh. My life is boring.

I’m not good at the first date. I’m spazzy and more than awkward. My brain doesn’t seem to work fast enough to come up with topics of conversation. I say things that later, “I’m like, what in the crap was I talking about?” Yesterday, visiting my doctor for the first time I realized that it’s not just the first date I’m bad at. I’m bad at the first meeting. Period.

I don’t make a good first impression. I’m an introvert. I’m overly self-conscious and always on the verge of being embarrassed about something. I want you to like me. . . and I don’t know what to say that won’t make me sound dumb and/or come out like a pick-up line from David Spade. . . and I won’t realize how terrible it sounded until much, much later. And then, I’ll be embarrassed again!

So while this post started as a funny story about the awkwardness of a first visit to the doctor, I’ve somehow turned it into a psychological analysis of myself. Leave it to me! (And I promise, I’m working on the embarrassment/shyness/self-conscious thing.)

So if those of you who’ve never met me ever do in the future, try to ignore my inane awkwardness. If the first meeting is weird, give me a second chance. I grow on you.