Lessons Learned

To quote the great Ben Folds, “it sucks to grow up.” Or at least that’s the conclusion I came to this morning when my alarm went off at 5 a.m. and I was nice and snuggly in a comfy bed complete with flannel sheets and a comforter. And Muffin the Wonder Poodle all snuggled up next to me. It was nice. I was still sleepy. I would still be sleeping. . . if there wasn’t this whole job thing and the being responsible thing. So as I got ready for work today, I compiled a list of reasons growing up just ain’t that much fun. Here it is in no particular order: 1. Snow days. Growing up, it was always nice to wake up to an unexpected snow and realize that I didn’t have to go to school. If the snow glare didn’t tip me off, the fact that my parents were still in bed watching “Little House on the Prairie” or “The Andy Griffith Show” was always a good hint that school was in fact not in session. (My mom was a teacher in the same district we attended and my dad is a farmer. You don’t do much work with the land when it’s frozen!) Now that I’m grown up, I’ve found that nothing—not snow, not sleet, not rain. . . .—stops my employer from expecting us to be here working (well, except a few holidays, extreme illness, and the weekend. . .and that’s not always true!) I think the American workforce should solve this little problem by instating “Unexpected Days Off.” Just some day, maybe in the middle of the week, possibly always on Friday, every once in awhile, it would be great if the boss would just call and say, “Hey, UDO today (unexpected day off) today. Just sleep in, relax, and come back to work tomorrow. That would truly help my morale.

2. Being sick. Okay, so being sick is never fun, but it’s decidely less so when you’re a single adult with a dog. You don’t feel like getting out of bed. You don’t feel like making soup. You don’t even HAVE soup in your cupboards. To make things worse, you have a dog you need to take outside. And she doesn’t understand that you feel like crap, that you don’t want to get dressed to go outside, and playing ball from your bed isn’t really that much fun for you either. It was so much better when your mom was around to take care of you, take you to the doctor, make sure you took your medicine, keep your glass full of Sprite, and figure out which channels had the best sick day TV shows on. Those were the days!

3. Cold days, cold cars. Okay, so my dad always liked to take care of his little girl, I admit it. But on freezing cold days when your car was iced over and delightfully frosty inside. . .it was nice to have somebody there to go out and start your car, get it warmed up, and scrape all the ice off. These days when I’m outside in the cold doing it for myself, I’d give anything to have him here to help me out. Or at least wish I could remember if I’d ever thanked him for all those little things like that he always did for me while I was growing up.

4. Bills. It sure was cool when you were growing up and you had some money (whether you earned it or your parents gave it to you) and you could spend it any way you wanted. These days when I want to get something and I have to do the mental calculation of “If I buy this, will I be spending my money responsibly? Is the water, electricity, car payment, insurance, etc. paid up?” I liked it better when I didn’t have financial responsibilities!

5. Falling asleep in front of the TV. I used to laugh at my mom and dad who could fall asleep at the drop of a hat when we would sit down to watch TV together. Not so, now that I do the same. I sit in the chair, knowing I have just about an hour before I have to be somewhere, start watching something inane to pass the time, and wake up about 30 minutes later, grab my coat and rush out of the house. I just hope that snoring like my dad isn’t the next step in this progression!

There are many more reasons, but I’m using up all my allotted creative thinking time!