Judges’ choice (and all skate)

It’s 6:57 p.m. and I can’t wait for “American Idol.” I’m slightly disturbed that I’m now such a huge fan of this show. I used to make fun of such people. Now I’m one of them. Oh, well, as I advised Mindy the other week: fly your freak flag and be proud of it.

Finally it’s time for the show. Stupid Ryan annoyingly welcomes us to the show and I contemplate making up a dance to the theme song. Seriously. I’m that far over the edge.

7:01 p.m.: Stupid Ryan informs us that this is a pivotal moment for the contestants (as if all the others haven’t been?) and intros the judges. Like we need that anymore. The judges have each picked a song, the producers have picked one, and the contestants each got to pick a song. Nice, AI, nice. This could be a trainwreck.

7:02 p.m.: Hey, Emily VanCamp is in the house! Love her, from way back in her “Everwood” days.

7:03 p.m: The Archuleta is singing Billy Joel, chosen by Paula. And announced to him during his home visit by a dude with a sweet handlebar mustache. Paula mumbles about tambor and such and the Archuleta calls “And So It Goes” a really “pretty” song. School House Rocks could teach you about more adjectives, David. OK, so the boy can sing. This is pretty and technically nice. But it’s a ballad and just like everything he’s done over and over and over. I’m glad he opted for a button down, tie, and jacket this week, though. Boy can sing, but snore. Randy says Paula chose a dope song and some other random compliments; Paula says it was pure and stunning. . .it was but boring!; Simon says it was very good and predictable. See, Simon agrees with me. I have to say that the Archuleta knows what he’s good at and always plays to his strengths. There is something to be said for that. What, I don’t know.

7:11 p.m.: The judges and Stupid Ryan take part in some weirdness about downloading performances. Syesha interviews in a limo that she’ll be doing Alicia Keys’ song “If I Ain’t Got You,” picked by Randy. Syesha says Alicia is her favorite artist. Of course, she would like Alicia Keys. Does that surprise me? Not. at. all. She sings the song and there are some rough places. And Mindy points out that she needs a slip. Seriously, girls, slips are your friends. She does some weird trilliness at the end that isn’t pleasing to me, but she had a good time and it was nice. Randy says she did an amazing job; Paula says she looks stunning and did fine on a song by an identifiable artist; Simon disses Randy’s choice and says Syesha overall sounded like the original. Which I agree with totally. Because I am Simon, apparently.

7:16 p.m.: David Cook is at home in KC, MO, and he’s singing “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack, a Simon Cowell pick. Oh, boy! This is going to be CRAZY, baby! Simon says he wanted to do something different (and I’m thinking challenging). Ryan makes some sort of underhanded gay insinuation about Simon, then David is singing. I’m a bit worried. Sometimes his falsetto is a bit sharp, and most people go flat when singing. . . .OK, this is getting good. After an IM from Mindy telling me to stop drooling and some eye-closed singing by David, he wails it on the end. It’s great. I love it. Randy says it was good but he needed more rock (he’s just getting Simon back for dissing his song choice earlier); Paula says it was good, I think; Simon says it was one of David’s best performances to date. I agree. Much better than last week. David Cook is back! Then David winks at his mom and wishes her a happy belated Mother’s Day. I fall for him all over again. Gotta love the rockers who love their moms.

7:25 p.m.: After a LOOONG commercial break, we’re back to The Archuleta. Who is singing “With You” by Chris Brown. Wow. Oh, boy. He says this wasn’t easy for him to learn. I’m really scared for him. After some strange weirdness with Ryan, David sings. Upbeat for once. OK, this is just overall weird for me. David’s classically trained sounding voice taking on this song. It’s like two worlds colliding. The tweens like it. I spend time wondering if David has on a Dharma Initiative shirt. Good job, but it was weird for me. Because I’m old, I think. Randy applauds the risky move but says the Archuleta saying “my boo” was weird (WORD, Randy!); Paula liked it, of course; Simon also applauds but says it was not really David. I. so. heartily. agree. The judges fight, Archuleta grins, Stupid Ryan lives up to his name.

7:30 p.m.: Syesha says she’s singing “Fever.” Self-indulgent much, aye? She’s using a prop, a chair. Oh, the theatrics. I can’t take it. Girl is pulling out all the stops and sex appeal to make it into the finals. While the vocals are nice, I think this is ploy all of America can see through. But it’s worked for her in previous weeks. The only part I feel is original is the very end, which is nice and vocally tough. Randy says she sang well; Paula says she’s surprised by the song and doesn’t really show who Syesha is as an artist (she is putting on a character, really); Simon says she’ll regret the performance and uses the words lame and cabaret. What’s with Paula making some sense? It scares me to say I agree with both Paula and Simon.

7:38 p.m: Stupid Ryan says David Cook’s name weirdly and they chat about David singing Switchfoot. Cool. David in his all black outfit jets across the stage for “Dare You to Move.” I can’t wait. The beginning is a little rough, but I have big hopes for him and this song. He’s pitchy until he gets to the chorus and I start liking it, but then it just ends. Randy says it was pitchy and name drops; Paula thinks it was a weird ending, too; Simon says it was OK and not all that melodic of a song. I agree with Paula and Simon again. I’m really, really scared by this!

7:43 p.m.: The Archuleta is doing “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg. Which I first heard at a wedding when I was in like sixth grade and fell in love with. Mostly because I loved folky, singer/songwriters, and I was in sixth grade. I know it’s weird. My mom liked Simon and Garfunkel, OK? So The Archuleta sings a ballad. And it’s nice. And same old, same old. Randy says it was hot; Paula calls it lovely; Simon says David sang it well, but it was so gooey. It is, Simon. Which is why I LOVED it when I was like 12. Because you are gooey and all sugary at that age. (no comments on how I haven’t grown out of it, please.)

7:50 p.m.: Stupid Ryan promos the AI tour by acting weird with Syesha’s dad. The producers picked “Hit Me Up” for Syesha. And she’s working it on the stage. I’m sorry, everything she does now fails to ring authentic to me. I feel like she’s acting out how she thinks a character would instead of being herself. She’s a great singer, very talented. The vocals are good, but I’m not a fan. And I’ve tried. Randy says she was OK; Paula says it really didn’t define Syesha the artist and doubts it’s good enough for the finals; Simon says it was better than her second song and her best moment was last week. I so, so agree. I don’t think Syesha knows who she is as an artist so there’s nothing to be true to. She just tries on different divas over and over again.

7:57 p.m.: We’re back. David Cook is up singing “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” He starts out good, in his sweet jacket that I kind of want. I love the way he caressed the word forever. I like the dynamics he’s putting in this song. The strobe light is scary, though, when he gets to his rocker ending. And he’s singing out of the side of his mouth and doing that half smile thing that kills me. The last note was big and worried me some, but wow. Loved it. (WHAT DOES PAULA HAVE ON? A girdle? What is that?) Randy says it was OK and predictable; Paula points out Diane Warren and predicts David’s in the finals; Simon says David wins the night. Oh, wow! I can’t wait until next week.

Going home: Syesha, I think. It’s going to be an all boy, all David final. I think I need to have a party to celebrate this great occasion.