It’s embarrassing. . . .

. . . when your boss (who’s supposed to be on vacation, BTW) shows up at work unexpectedly to find you and some coworkers fighting over celebrity crushes and looking them up on the Internet.

. . . when you suddenly discover you didn’t zip your pants and can’t figure out how long you’ve been walking around “exposed.”

. . . you cry loudly in movie theaters. Or fall asleep. I’ve done both.

. . . think you’re just hanging out with a friend who happens to be a guy. Somewhere toward the middle part of the hanging out, you figure out it’s a date and freak out. That’s happened to me, too. Twice. (But these days, no one asks me out, so I don’t have to get confused.)

. . . you get advice from someone your dad’s age about online dating. See this.

. . . that every time you see your moderately cute, but a smoker!, neighbor, you’re doing something idiotic. Or look like you haven’t bathed for days. Or feel like a semi just ran over you. Life is not fair!