In heavy rotation.

I think life ought to have a soundtrack.

Those of you who know me well understand that statement. I’m a big believer in the perfect song, and sometimes, the “big” moments of my life are often tied together with music in my memory. My grandmother’s death  is forever tied to “Blessed Be Your Name,” especially the second verse, which I continually repeated to myself during those trying days of waiting in that hospital. Those days are also punctuated with Andrew Peterson’s “More,” which I played over and over on the 4-hour drive, knowing that I was driving home to a big change in my world, one I didn’t necessarily want to face.

My early years in Nashville are filled with Bebo Norman songs and an aching for someone to really love the real me and not leave when they actually got to know me on that level. In the last year or so, it was Jon McLaughlin’s “Beautiful Disaster” that I clung to, since I felt exactly like the girl in the song who would change everything, absolutely every last thing about herself, if she could.

The things on heavy rotation now are an interesting mix. By looking at my iPod, you’d think I was a depressing, melancholy person, but really, I promise, I’m not. Jon Foreman’s solo releases (JF is the lead singer of Switchfoot) have captured me, especially the ones on Fall and Winter, which are more melancholy. But the simplicity, the beauty, the acknowledgment of a God who knows more than we do—all of that speak to the cry of my heart, the “oh, Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” Or more practically, the “I want to trust you with this but it’s so, so hard!”

And then there’s been the heavy Ryan Adams’ rotation, complete with “La Cienega Just Smiled” and “Come Pick Me Up,” which despite its use of the F-word almost makes me cry. Every time. Because I understand that messed-up, unhealthy desire to just let someone completely mess you up because you love them against your best interests. I heard the song in the background of “Elizabethtown” one day when I was watching the movie (for the 800th time) and just had to have it. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova got added to the rotation after I saw Once and “Falling Slowly” and “Lies” are at the top of the playlist these days.

And then there’s Andrew Peterson’s newest release, Resurrection Letters Volume II. If you haven’t known me long, you don’t know of my love for AP. The lyrics of AP songs make me close my eyes and let them just wash over me. Some music you just have to feel, you know. Sometimes, it’s simply not enough to just listen. And the more I listen to this album, the more I love “The Good Confession (I Believe).” Because it reminds me of that day when God called me to Himself and I knew I couldn’t resist any longer. Because it reminds me of the hope I sometimes forget in the day-to-day.

So what’s on the soundtrack of your life these days?