Impressions

Yesterday, I had a meeting with a bunch of coworkers and creative people to come up with a new name for a revamped product. It’s one of those meetings where everyone talks at once followed by long silences.

I generally feel out-of-place and useless at such meetings. Creative for me doesn’t come spur of the moment. I need time to think, process, and ponder other peoples’ suggestions and ideas.

I think it’s the editor in me.

I’m better at taking the ideas and shaping them into the beautiful reality than I am at generating the ideas. I’m not one of those people who can throw out 16 different options without a care in the world. My suggestions come from thoughtful places and by the time I voice them, I’m pretty emotionally tied to them because I’ve spent so much time mulling them over.

I love to be creative, don’t get me wrong. I love to write. It’s why I do it every day almost on this blog. But I also recognize something important about myself: I’m a born editor. Writing is my way of processing and a creative outlet I hope to never walk away from, but writing is a hard process. You have to work at it, every day, consistently whether you want to or not. For me, writing is sometimes just a painful process of trying to get the words out. It feels wrong, and you wonder even as you type if you’re writing anything worth reading. The real magic comes when I edit. When I look at all the pieces, recognize the diamond in the rough (the story that is begging to be told) and shape the article, post, or story to do just that.

Once when I was in college, a professor told me that I didn’t have the same desire as other students to “impress” with my writing. It rankled when he said that, but what he said was true. I didn’t have the drive for the cut-throat mainstream media, and I didn’t want to write “impressive” stories. I wanted to write stories that left an impression. I wanted to craft writings that when you were finished, you would close your eyes and understand how the characters or the people interviewed felt.

The truth about me as a writer is that I’m only passionate about the articles and stories that focus on what’s important to me. The great God who I can’t fit into a box as hard as I try. This relentless love that overwhelms and consumes. Friendship. The holy moments of life. Hope. Love. Family. The tiny joys, deep sorrows, and great laughter of life. The tiny joys, deep sorrows, and great laughter of faith.

I don’t write to impress. I write, I edit, I speak.

I hope the things I write, edit, and say leave an impression.