Breaking up is hard to do.

I am a morning person. I admit this. I may not wake up all bubbly and chipper, but after a little while, I’m up and ready to go. I get more accomplished in the morning hours than the whole afternoon. And , accordingly, I fade fast at night. If you’re ever with me after midnight, you’ll find me giddy, annoying, silly, and periodically grumpy. Staying up all hours of the night has never been my thing. In fact, I never, ever, not once pulled an all nighter in college or grad school , though a take-home test in grad school did keep me up until like 2 a.m. All that said, I’m a morning person. I accept this. I embrace it.

But after the craziness of this morning, I might break up with mornings. That way I could go straight to lunch, one of my favorite moments of any day.

Part of the problem this morning is that it is St. Patrick’s Day. Therefore, I feel the need to wear green. I don’t have a whole lot of green in my wardrobe for some reason. Because I didn’t want to iron and the green shirt I thought about wearing was dirty, I decided a skirt combo was in order. Great, right? No ironing. Saving time. Getting out of the door earlier.

Yeah, it didn’t quite go like that. I couldn’t decide which skirt with a bit of green in the pattern I wanted to wear. Finally, I picked the one that didn’t require me to go iron stuff to wear with it. I took a shower. I dried my hair. I pinned said hair back and put on makeup.

Then, I decided to pin my hair back in an actual style today. My hair revolted and I found myself in my bathroom having an actual conversation with my hair. I actually said, “OK, it’s obvious you don’t want to do that. But by 10 a.m., you’re going to be in my face and I’m going to tuck you behind my ear and you’re going to look stupid.” People, I was REASONING with my hair! My hair! I think this is more of a sign that I need someone else to talk to or counseling rather than reflecting a need to break up with morning, but still.

Finally, I was dressed and my hair was “fixed.” I grabbed a pair of shoes, only to realize that they were black and I was wearing brown. What was I thinking? Obviously, my brain didn’t wake up this morning.

At this point, I’m ready to go. And I realize that because I did things out of order in the usual getting ready routine that I haven’t brushed my teeth. SCORE! Once that task is accomplished and lipstick is applied, I’m ready to go. Or at least I think so.

I spent five minutes more than usual wandering around my living room trying to decide what I needed to do to get the house ready for my absence. You know, like turning off lights, a little heater, the TV. I do this turn-off-the-electronics routine every morning! But this morning, I guess I was going to walk out the door with the TV blaring and every light in the house on. Apparently, I needed more sleep this morning, because the common sense is really not firing on all cylinders.

So, maybe I need to become a non-morning person. Maybe morning and I need to break up. I mean, the rest of the world hates morning people anyway!

Oh, well. I’d never make it past midnight.