Ben Folds was right,

Growing up does suck.

Especially today when every school system (except for Davidson County!) is getting the day off for weather related issues. . . .and I have to go to work. Here’s a little run-down of my morning. (For those of you who live in cold weather locales, this is going to sound like a stupid Southerner whining. I’m from Missouri, folks, I’ve seen snow. But snow and ice just don’t happen that much here in Music City, U.S.A.)

6:05 a.m.: I realize that I’m still wandering around my room in my bathrobe. Really, it’s time to get dressed. I pull on the outfit I thought was so great last night: skirt, tights, sweater, cutest shoes ever.

6:15 a.m.: Pouring my travel mug of coffee, grabbing some bread to toast when I get to the office. It’s department break day, so I’ll supplement this meager fare later. Get Muffin trapped in kitchen jail (she hangs in the kitchen when I’m at work). Pull on my coat, gloves, pick up all my crap and head for the car.

6:20 a.m.: My car door is frozen shut. My legs are cold. These cute shoes don’t seem cute anymore.

6:22 a.m.: Car door finally opens. Start car. Turn on defrost and seat heaters. It looks like marbled frosted glass has encased my car. And this defroster is not cutting it. Where’s my de-icer?

6:25 a.m.: I HAVE NO DE-ICER! How could this happen? It’s not like I use it that much. This is Nashville. I grab the large scraper (with a brush) that was so handy when I lived in Columbia, Mo. 

6:26 a.m.: This scraper is so not making a bit of difference. I get back in the car. The cute shoes. . .yeah, not so practical. I may have frostbite on my toes. Or they may just be super cold.

6:27 a.m.: Maybe the defroster’s done enough work. Maybe I can scrap some of this ice off. Nope.

6:30 a.m.: I have to leave for work! I guess this will have to do. I back out of my parking spot. I’m hunched over the steering wheel staring through the one place on the windshield that’s clear. I look like one of those little old ladies whose heads barely rise over the steering wheel. This is not safe. I know this. I make fun of people who do this. But what am I going to do? Wait the 30 minutes it’ll take for my defroster to get it’s butt in gear and do the work?

6:45 a.m.: I’m nearing the Broadway exit. Hallelujah!

6:50 a.m.: Pulling in at work. I decide to park on the roof parking lot. Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean I should mess with tradition, right? I have to scan my ID badge to get in. There it is. Oh, crap! This window is so not going to roll down. I pull forward, open my car door and hang out of it to scan my ID. I’m in!

6:51 a.m.: I don’t care that I’m not in the office yet; I’m on the premises. I’m counting 6:50 a.m. as the time I got to work on our time tracker system. Turn off car, sing a few phrases of U2’s “Beautiful Day” sarcastically. Oh, man! There’s my briefcase thingy in the backseat. I guess I should take that in, too.

6:51 and 2 seconds: The back driver’s side door? Yeah, frozen shut. Won’t budge. It’s windy up here. This skirt was not a good idea. Cute shoes aside, I’m thinking I should have gone a whole other route with my clothing today. Door still won’t open. And now, it’s cracked a little and doesn’t seem to want to close. I push as hard as possible and hope that clicking sound means it has latched.

6:52 a.m.: I gaze at my briefcase through the car window. Screw it! I’m going inside.

6:55 a.m.: In my office. Checking ye ole e-mail. The day has begun. I should go to chapel. Max Lucado is here.

7:25 a.m.: I’m skipping chapel. I need to write this beautiful post on my blog more!