Awkward? Right this way!

I’m going to start off today’s post with some astounding news: I am a magnet for awkward situations and awkward people.

Oh, yeah, whatever, you say. Who isn’t?

Well, I don’t think you understand. If something awkward is going to happen, it happens near me. Or involves me. Or IS me. (The only other person I know who might really understand this is my friend Brandy. We basically live the same random life with different consonants at the beginnings of our names.)

Yesterday, since I didn’t get to complete the two grocery store challenge on Tuesday, I had to go to Publix to get some necessary items for today’s Thanksgiving potluck at work and Sunday’s Thanksgiving dinner. OK, I love Publix. (Shh, don’t tell my grocery store boyfriend Trader Joe’s.) If I were *that* kind of girl, you might say that Publix is my long-term, steady relationship and Trader Joe’s is a fling, but a fling that’s going to last awhile.

But I digress. Yesterday I went to Publix. And at Publix, one of the things that makes them special is the baggers and their offers to take the groceries to your car for you and load them in. This used to be the norm in grocery stores, but with the rise of super WalMarts and such, very rarely do people carry out your groceries for you anymore. And at the Publix I frequent, there’s this certain slightly awkward bagger who no matter what ALWAYS finds me. (See the awkward magnet at work!)

He’s been featured on this blog before. First, there was the time he blurted out how he couldn’t wait to live alone so that he could have Dark Knight posters wherever he wanted. Then, there was the time he called me Mi’lady. Since these experiences and others, I mostly avoid him at all cost in the store. I picked a line last night because I hadn’t seen him around and/or anywhere near it. There was a nice high school age bagger happily stoying my groceries away.

And then, inexplicably, he showed up. Like he had radar. He decided to get my groceries out of the cart for me and help said bagger. He pushed the cart behind me in the already narrow check-out and said happily “I’m behind you!” as he passed. It wasn’t overtly awkward, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable. And to think, he was nowhere to be found when I pushed my cart into that line. See, awkward magnet=me.

See, awkward LOVES me. Probably because I am awkward myself. I fall down in public. I laugh too loudly at things no one else seems to think is funny. I find myself in weird social situations often in which all I can do is wonder if this is indeed really happening. I cry in movie theaters if so moved. I’ve been on dates that I figured out where dates half-way into the date. There’s even the whole Cesar saga. Awkward really should be my middle name.

Such is my life, though. This is the burden I bear.

So, I apologize for any awkwardness that might happen when you’re hanging out with me. I’m an awkward magnet. Maybe I should hang out with more people who have this affliction so that the awkwardness would be canceled out. . . .and replaced with awesomeness.

But I’m choosing to embrace something Crystal Z. wrote on one of my blog posts awhile back. She said “Nerds are HOT! Own it!” And awkwardness just seems to be part of my nerdy self.