Awkward is a funny word.

Ever felt like awkwardness and strange situations follow you around like your shadow? Yeah. All. the. time. It’s pretty much my life.

Let’s start with yesterday’s tale of awkwardness. The setting? Publix, one of my favorite places in all the world. I had stopped into Publix after work because while I’m going to Missouri this weekend, I still need food! I especially needed some breakfasty type foods and a few odds and ends. Publix is my grocery store of choice these days, so I stopped in and gathered the necessary items.

Some of you may remember my awkward experience with a bagger/carry-out guy at the same store earlier this year. Last night, it happened. AGAIN!

When I’d gathered all of my purchases, I was patrolling the front of the store looking for a line that wasn’t too long. Out of nowhere, carry-out guy materializes. He says, “Hey, it’s you again!” (We’d run into each other earlier in the store.) And mumbles something about lines and carrying out my groceries and directs me to an open line. I get all checked out and everything paid for, then turn to discover he’s packed everything into my car and is now pushing the cart. He says something like “Your chariot awaits” (OK, he really said “Lead the way!” but I thought the other was funnier!) and we head out in search of my car. OK, guys, I had like maybe—maybe—five bags. I don’t really need help carrying that out. I can handle it; I’m not a complete wimp! Anyway, he loads all the stuff into the backseat, then says, and this is a word-for-word quote: “There you go, Mi’lady. Come back and see me sometime. Have a blessed day.”

I mumbled something to him about having a nice day and got in my car. Mi’lady? Really? Maybe he really enjoys renaissance fairs? Because I didn’t know people actually used that word in conversation!

Sometimes, I think I have a sign on my forehead that I can’t see. It probably says something like “Come talk to me. I enjoy awkwardness.” or “Overshare about yourself at our first meeting. I love to hear EVERYTHING.” At first, I thought this was a different carry-out guy than my first strange experience at Publix, but upon further consideration, I think it was the same guy. So maybe he’s a bit socially awkward? Overly friendly? Striving to be extremely helpful and chatty?

But with me, it just comes off as awkward. He sort of reminds me of Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice. And, that, my friends, really says it all.