And now for our long-distance dedication: AI and top downloads

Ryan walks through the double line of contestants. . .and everyone has BIG hair tonight. Oh, boy. THIS IS AMERICAN IDOL!

The judges are announced and do their little walk across the stage. Paula’s got on a hot pink too short dress. Oh, well, what else could we expect? Ryan mentions Michael’s departure, interviews the judges (snore), and generally acts like himself.

I don’t know who was styling the girls, but when all the contestants come on stage, I’m a bit taken aback. Especially by Allison’s hair and Megan’s outfit. Ryan intros the theme (top downloads) and the contestants visit the studio where Ryan’s doing one of his 300 jobs (hosting American Top 40).

Anoop is up first, doing an Usher song. He says he’s going to go out there and have fun. We’ll see. OK, I dont’ know many Usher songs. Or any, if we’re being honest. He seems a bit pitchy in the beginning, then I think he does a pretty good job. . . .but I can’t really tell because a)this song is boring and b) I dont’ really like it. It just seems to be a song in which he can go “Oooh” a lot. Randy says it was vocally cool but maybe not the right song; Kara says he should have done some crazy stuff with riffs and such; Paula liked his “playful side;” Simon says it was a mess and came across as a wannabe. I think Anoop is nice, but I think Simon (who isn’t) is right.

Up next is Megan. Who is singing Bob Marley. Please shoot me now. She’s doing “Turn Your Lights Down Low.” She interviews that she loves this song and then takes the stage. She’s wearing enough necklaces for 4 people. . . or more. She may love this song, but I do not love her singing it. I mean this song is boring and I feel like Janice from “FRIENDS” is braying through parts of it. I’m well aware that I don’t like Megan, but this was not the song to keep her on the show. Kara says she likes Megan, but thinks she’s in trouble and points out the bad song choice; Paula seems speechless for a bit, then says Megan needs to take us by surprise; Simon mocks Paula’s comment, then says the song was boring, indulgent, and monotonous; Randy compares it to watching paint dry and says something about Amy Winehouse. Megan chats with Ryan and says her fans were feeling it. It comes off as pompous and a little overly confident at this point in the game.

Danny Gokey is up and he’s doing Rascal Flatts “What Hurts the Most.” He says he thinks everyone likes them. . . but I don’t. Sorry, Rascal Flatts. He starts straightforward and seems a little off at the beginning of the chorus. Then, it gets really good and powerful. Especially when Mindy reminds me via IM that he never really got to say good-bye to his wife. It really was a great performance! Paula says this was a performance she’d listen to again; Simon says it was his best performance ever and applauds him; Randy says he brought it; Kara says that he moved everyone emotionally and really connected with the audience.

Allison will be playing the guitar for the first time and is doing “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt. No doubt, Mindy is going crazy across town. It’s simple at first, just Allison and the guitar and her vocals are nice and understated. She has great control of her voice for someone so young. It’s hard to do the runs and trills that softly and not let it get out control. I think the chorus is a little too much like No Doubt’s version, but I really think Allison is good. But her outfit is TERRIBLE! Randy says it was vocally great, but a little ahead of the beat, then disses her outfit (word, Randy!); Kara says she didn’t need to dress up as a rock star, she just needs to be herself and was a good, not great, performance; Paula says her vocals are great (basically, she uses a lot of words I’m not sure she knows the meaning of); Simon comments on the terrible outfit and then says she shouted the song (which I do not agree with him).

Scott’s up with a Billy Joel tune after the commercial. Scott’s hair looks, well, puffy. It’s not so good. He interviews that he’s doing “Just the Way You Are” and says he’s stripping things down, just him and the piano. I think Billy Joel is probably a good choice. His vocals seem a bit stronger than past weeks, but I IM Mindy to tell her I’m still a bit bored. He surprises me then with some dynamics and runs that take control and are actually quite nice. Kara says he made smart decisions with the song choice; Paula says she’s most proud of Scott not because of his “challenge” but everything he does that makes her forget about that “challenge;” Simon says it was his best performance so far (I absolutely agree!); Randy says it was one of the best of the night, but he has to shout it over Paula and Simon’s argument. Seriously, guys. Kiss already.

Matt’s first and Ryan talks with him about the surprise of being in the bottom three. Matt’s doing the Fray’s “You Found Me.” He starts out with a different melodic line than the Fray’s version and I feel like he’s running all the phrases together and breathing in weird places. Vocally, it’s a OK. He goes for power notes AND falsetto, which I’m not so sure was necessary. I feel like he picked a song thathe liked, but really went against his natural sound and talent. Paula says it was sound-alike and not a great performance; Simon says it was uncomfortable; Randy says he needs to let the soul in his voice out; Kara says that he keeps picking between rock and R&B and needs to figure out what he wants to do as an artist. Matt interviews that he’s trying to show them that he can do more than R&B, but I really love the Marc Broussard feel to his voice and he denied us that this week.

Lil is up next and she’s doing Celine. . . and has yet another hairstyle. It’s sort of like mine, but with bangs. She’s wearing a long dress and it’ not the best dress for her. In the beginning of the song, her voice seems tentative and unsure, then she gets to the wailing part of the song and does a really nice job, though I fear it’s pitchy. Randy says this isn’t the best song choice but she sang it well; Kara mentions other singers she could have sung, but says she’s surprised by Lil’s effortless range; Paula doesn’t like the adult contemporary Lil Rounds (I hate to say it, but I agree wholeheartedly!); Simon says it was a safe choice to try to stay in the competition and came across old-fashioned. They all mention that her personality seems to be disappearing. Ryan tries to interview Lil’s little girls and it turns into Randy holding one of them while Lil cries onstage. It must be incredibly hard to be away from your kids for this long, especially young ones like Lil’s.

Adam’s next and he’s doing Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music.” Please shoot me now! He’s got a crazy pompadour and I’m really unsure about how much product he used to do that. This is just OVER THE TOP. I honestly dont’ know what to think about it. If there werent’ the high pitched squealing that is higher than I can sing, I think I would have liked it. But to use Simon’s words, I think it might be a bit indulgent, over-the-top pandemonium. Paula breathlessly says it was great and compares him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler; Simon says it was original; Randy says he worked it out and was in the star zone; Kara says it was like Studio 57 “up in here” tonight. I agree it was good. It was a performance. But he’s just too much for me. I wouldn’t buy his record.

Kris Allen is up next and he’s doing “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Listen to Will Hoge’s version, Kris. It. will. rock. your. world. He’s playing the piano for the first time, which is cool, because I didn’t know he played the piano. A two instrument man! Cool! OK, I think he’s definitely listened to Will Hoge’s version. He’s doing his own version, but there are hints of Will’s bluesy version, especially when the piano drops out. Vocally, he’s great. I think it was a great performance. Randy says he was in the zone and one of the best tonight; Kara calls it artistry; Paula says he made an old song sound new (she’s obviously never heard Will Hoge’s version because he did that two years ago); Simon says he showed confidence and had a great arrangement.

Bottom three: Anoop, Megan for sure. Scott, maybe, though he was good this week. Lil wasn’t memorable. And Matt Giraurd chose his song poorly.

Going home: Please, let it be Megan. For the love of all that’s musical.