An optometrist’s worse nightmare.

I hate wearing my glasses. They don’t fit right and always feel like they’re sliding off my ears and down my nose. And they’re perpetually dirty. And I just can’t see as well out of them as I can contacts.

I sometimes even sleep in my contacts. A) Because I’m lazy and it’s late or B) because I want to be able to open my eyes and be able to read the clock next to my bed.

I have BAD vision. Like I have to wear contacts or glasses to drive. There used to be a stipulation on my driver’s license that said that.

So, I wear my contacts almost every day of the year. But recently, being cheap and busy, I’d kind of forgotten to reorder contacts. Which isn’t a problem since disposable contacts actually last a lot longer than you’d think—if you’re willing to accept any consequences that might come with wearing them past their recommended date, like build-up or possibly eye infections.

So I’ve been wearing this particular pair of contacts for a long time. And today, the left one was driving me crazy while I was getting ready for work. It felt like sand, gravel, or a really, really bristly hair was in my eye. Seriously, what was the deal?

The deal was my contact was tearing. In two. I got it out before it tore apart in my eye (this has happened to me before and is not fun) and thought, I’m going to have to wear my glasses.

But I didn’t want to wear my glasses. Not one tiny bit. My eyes get SO tired when I wear my glasses to work.

So I opened the closet in the bathroom and looked for my extra contacts, believing I had one left and hoping with everything I’ve got that it was a left contact.

It wasn’t. But I thought I’d try it anyway.

So if I have a splitting headache in 2 hours, I warned you. It’s my own fault.

Whatever you do, don’t tell me, “I told you so!”