AI: They’re going to put me in the movies

Stupid Ryan opens the show with Stupid Quentin Tarantino. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse. . .

(QT gets on my nerves. And really, what kind of MUSICAL advice can he give?) But at least Ryan doesn’t string out the “This is American Idol!”

Ryan welcomes the band and the judges and winks at Kara, calls Paula hot (what the crap is she wearing? Is it a dog collar attached to a dress?), and tries to make fun of Simon. The top 7 enter and someone needs to talk to Anoop’s stylist. I don’t know what look they’re looking for with him. Studious guy who’s slightly cool but mostly dorky?

There’s a stupid video section that tries to convince us that Quentin Tarantino has something important to say about music. I’m not sure I’m buying it. I’d accept Cameron Crowe as a mentor on AI, though, so maybe I need to give QT a chance.

Allison is up first and is singing “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” QT says her first performance for him was just OK, then says her second was great. Tonight, her outfit is great from the waist up and she starts the song slow and understated. At the chorus, she pulls out all the Allison vocal skills we know. She misses a few notes, but I still think she’s great. She knows how to perform and has a great voice. (And BTW, Katie Couric is in the audience!) Paula says that Allison is authentic (possesses a “special sauce”? What?!) and calls her talented; Simon says she is the girls’ only hope left in the competition and is getting stronger and more confident. Yay! I really think she could be in the finals!

AND. . . commercial. For Coke. Let’s see how many Coke commercials there are tonight.

Anoop is doing “Everything I Do, I Do for You.” Oh, geeze. QT tells him to “rough it up a bit.” Which actually might be good advice. But, Anoop, pick a cliche song why don’t you? He starts out well, changing the melody line around a little, playing with the notes. Which is admirable, I guess. Anoop can sing; there’s no denying that. The boy has a beautiful, pure voice and can do little trills and runs easily. But I just don’t know what kind of album he would produce. I can’t figure out what he actually likes. He certainly sold it tonight. Randy says it was in tune and emotional and that he did a good job; Kara says he has found his place by taking pop songs and adding soul. He has amazing control of his voice and did well tonight. We’ll see what comes of it.

Up next is Adam Lambert who is doing “Born to Be Wild” from Easy Rider. QT and Adam seem to bond in the rehearsal. His hair is different. . . I think he got a haircut. And the guyliner is on full display along with eyeshadow and TIGHT skinny jeans. OK, Adam can perform and this is like some crazy stage show. I feel like it’s Queen or something. There are strobe lights and high notes and wailing. I have no idea of what to say. The boy can sing. The boy can perform. And the boy slightly scares me! But maybe that’s a good thing? Paula says a bunch of mumbo jumbo that I think is supposed to be complimentary; Simon teases Adam and says it was vocally incredible, but a little like watching the Rocky Horror musical. I think you may have hit on something there, Simon. I agree with Simon, though. I liked last week’s performance better! I just feel like Adam is a Steve Perry sound-alike who would be more at home in the ’80s hair bands than today’s musical genres. Or on Broadway. Or as a member of Panic at the Disco or Fallout Boy. He’d just have to write songs with really long, descriptive titles.

Matt Giraud is doing something from Don Juan DeMarco. Did anyone but me like that movie? Johnny Depp? Brando? Anyone? OK, guess it was just me! Ooh! Matt G.’s gotten a haircut, too! Matt is doing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?” by Bryan Adams. QT advises him not to lose the enunciation of lyrics, which is always good advice, singers. Always! Matt’s back at the piano and changes some things melody-wise in the verse and it’s just OK for me. The chorus is nice, and he employs his falsetto a little and I’m still blase about it. Then, he does the bridge, which gets interesting and momentarily exciting, but he’s not in full control of his voice and does some strange vocal jumps. The ending is nice, though. Poor Matt. I like him, but the song choice might not have been the best ever. Randy says it was interesting and that Matt hit a rough patch in the bridge (word!) and wasn’t one of Matt’s best performances; Kara says he tried to make the song feel more R&B and in the end, took away some of the melody lines that make the song special. I agree with them both. That song is a simple, straightforward love song. And just like love, true love, you don’t need all the crazy stuff to make it special.

Danny Gokey is up next and apparently bought a guitar while shopping this week. Apparently he wants to learn to play. And he’s got more facial hair going on. It looks good—AND HE’S NOT WEARING HIS GLASSES! Danny’s doing “Endless Love,” and QT says he’s fond of Danny’s vocal skills. QT asks him to sing without using his hands and encourages him to communicate with his eyes. Interesting. . . .The song starts out good, a little slow, actually, and I think he has a little bit of a problem with the melody. (BTW, my Twitter friend Jim says Danny looks like Don Johnson in Miami Vice with the jacket.) When Danny gets to the end of the song, he kills it. It’s just beautiful and emotional. . . .and he might be wearing his wedding ring. Paula says she was unsure about the song at first, then says a bunch of gibberish, and that he slayed us in the end; Simon says he can’t fault the way he sang the song, but would have liked something that was more original. Simon seems to realize that this song is meaningful to Danny and obviously for his wife and congratulates him for singing such a meaningful song. Mindy and I discuss the performance on IM and decide that Danny has a connection with the songs he sings and the audience in every performance. And that’s something you can’t teach!

Kris will be singing “Falling Slowly” from Once! I am SO EXCITED. I love Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. This song is BEAUTIFUL! He starts out well, but it’s just not as fragile and vulnerable as Glen, but I’m very partial to Glen Hansard’s amazingness. He makes the song his by playing with some of the notes and adding “oohs.” He hits the falsetto perfectly, and it’s actually a very beautiful rendition. It’s not Glen and Marketa, but it is good. I like him more now. Randy didn’t get it (I don’t think he would get the movie, though) and calls it pitchy; Kara says he picked an obscure song (for people who don’t know good music!) and calls it one of his best performances ever. I might have to watch Once tonight. (Mindy, if I stare at you long enough will you change your mind?)

Lil is the last singer tonight, and she’s singing “The Rose.” In the middle, she plans to take it more gospel. QT advises her to commit to the first part as well as the gospel switch and she’ll be fine. That’s good advice, QT. Maybe I was wrong about you! But sadly for Lil, I don’t think she took his advice. The beginning is a bit rough for me. And the switch to the gospel feel is almost too noticeable. But Lil looks absolutely amazing. (Wow, did I just sound like Paula? I did. I apologize!) This is a more honest performance that reflect’s Lil’s talent and isn’t exactly putting on another diva’s performance. Paula says a lot of words, but none of them mean anything; Simon says the song was too soft and too middle-of-the-road and that Lil is not proving herself to be the artist they thought she was. Lil talks back to Simon, somewhat angrily, and Simon responds simply with, “It was a Bette Midler song.” Lil, I think he’s right.

Best of the night: Allison, Adam, Kris, and Danny, in my opinion.

Going home? Anoop or Lil, I think. Both have talent and we’re at the point in the competition where we have to start saying good-bye to good singers.

Oh, crap. Miley Cyrus is on the results show tomorrow. I so love DVR!