A lady’s purse says a lot about her . . .

Meet my purse.

It’s a nice, normal, non-expensive purse, as far as purses go. (And let’s all just agree right now to ignore the messiness of my desk in the background. Right hands raised, say: I promise. OK. We’re good.)

Anyway, it’s just a purse. I actually bought it at Target, so it’s not like designer or made out of some sort of really freakishly soft leather. It’s a purse, and one I like a lot. It’s become one of my favorites, even after the unfortunate event when I took it to a concert and the dude behind my decided to drink 47 beers and also pour them all over my purse. But I digress. (And the smell is gone.)

But let’s just take a look at the treasures inside this bag.

Ah, yes. Lipstick and keys. Normal and expected, right?

Oh, but there’s more!

Lipstick. Keys. A wallet. Sunglasses. A CD. That’s fairly normal, right? (Just say yes.)

But that’s not all:

And then add in two more lipsticks, a pen, and a pencil:

And the pièce de résistance:

Yep. A fork. In my purse. Why? I can’t really remember. . .

I mean, do I really need all of this stuff?

Really?

And am I going to have shoulder problems in my old age?