To whom it may concern (part whatever)

Dear Lightning 100,

I love your station. I am a Lightning 100 proselytizer. Once, when I was at a photo shoot for the magazine I edit, I was more interested in the fact that we were right outside your studio than the reality that we were shooting Shane and Shane. So I love you. And when I flipped you on this morning and heard the announcement that you were playing your top 150 artists in alphabetical order, I knew we were a match made in heaven. Really. Marry me, Lightning 100.

I will always love you,

Mandy

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Dear fellow employees:

We’ve had this discussion before. Please, please, please don’t rush the elevator doors before those who are actually on the elevator can get off. It’s rude. My momma taught me that. Why didn’t yours? Why do we have to keep discussing this? Are you actually that gung-ho to get up to the office and deal with your email? Really? Really?

Standing back (and taking names),

Sgt. Mandy of the elevator police patrol

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Dear YMCA of Middle Tennessee:

I love the My Y rewards program. Earning rewards for every time I get myself to the gym is a great incentive for me. (The idea that I can actually earn points to get prizes I really want, like DVDs and CDs, is a bigger incentive, but I digress.) Anyway, the visit-12-times-and-earn-a-spin-on-the-wheel thing needs a little revamping. OK, 12 times is a lot. That’s me going every weekday for like 2 weeks and then some. And I need a little bit of payoff. But today, when I had made my obligatory 12 visits and got to spin the wheel o’ prizes, points, and fortune, you totally screwed me over with the “Try Again” thing. After I’ve sweated it out for 12 days just to get a spin on the magical wheel, I really don’t think the better-luck-next-time approach is fair. So now I’m sore and angry.

Think it over,

the girl who falls off the stairmaster

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Dear Kansas Jayhawks,

As a proud graduate of Mizzou, I have to hate you. And I do. You are my arch-enemies, spawn of Satan, and I’ve informed my entire editorial team that the proper way to say your favorite cheer is: Rock chalk Jayhawk, SCREW KU! (What does that cheer even mean? Seriously?) Anyway, being a fan of the Big 12 (and wanting to see you play before you and my alma mater hit the court on Saturday night (is it OK to skip a birthday party to watch this? I think so!) I tuned in to part of your game against Oklahoma on Monday night. Did you have to be so good? Did you have to make basketball look so flawless? Did you have to turn a basketball game into one of the most boring things I’ve ever spent my time watching? I fell asleep. Really. So calm it down. Maybe even lose a few games and go on an amazing downward spiral. You can turn it on at the end of the season and still come out OK. I just need to see you look terrible on the court. It helps my self esteem.

Mizzou-RAH!

#gym #music #sports #work