In all honesty

If we’re being honest here (which we always are!), I didn’t want to get up and go to church today.

It was a long week. I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I don’t feel very good. In the past week, I’ve found out my brother and sis-in-law were having a baby, cried because my Grandma Polly isn’t here to share in that, hurt someone’s feelings when I was just being honest, and come to realization that I’ve probably spent too much time wanting things and trying to engineer ways to get them—things I probably had no business chasing after. Somehow the overwhelming feeling of the past few weeks has been that I’ve just screwed things up—relationships, friendships, how I handled specific situations.

And while I’ve spent a lot of time looking at God’s Word, I haven’t let it affect my daily life or allow God to have control. So this morning, when the alarm went off and I gazed out the window onto a beautiful day, I didn’t want to get in the shower and get ready to go to church. I was tired, and I didn’t want to hear it.

It’s funny how God knows that. I went to church, mostly because I had to bring breakfast for my Life Group. But once God had me there, He wasn’t going to let me go without making sure I understood Him loud and clear. This life isn’t all about me. Neither is my work, even though it seems so personal sometimes. This is about Him and being faithful, when it’s easy and when it’s not, when I understand and when I don’t, when I see the results and when I don’t get to. And that’s something I haven’t been putting into practice too often lately.

But I will.