Cultivating Connection in the Chaos

Five tips to help build community and connection in a busy world

We live in a world that’s more connected than ever—and it’s easier to feel more disconnected than ever before. While social media, smart phones and the digital tools that guide our lives definitely make it possible to know, see and do more, they don’t always help us to create the deep, lasting connections our hearts and souls long for. 

We live busy lives, running from work to appointments to the pickup line and kids’ sports activities. Our lives often feel like then run on checklists and calendars, alarms and reminders. And, sometimes, in the chaos of our daily lives, it’s easy to start to feel a sense of disconnection, that you’re the lone man (or woman) out, struggling through life on your own, unnoticed and unseen. 

While it’s normal to feel that way sometimes, we aren’t designed to do life on our own. In fact, we are created in God’s image, shaped and formed with an innate desire for community and connection. So while our daily lives may feel chaotic or we feel alone in this stage of life, that’s not the kind of life we were created to live. 

So, here are a few ways we’re seeking to cultivate connection with others these days. 

1. Go to church. It may seem like a simple thing, but gathering with other believers (when you feel like it and when you’d rather stay home in bed) is an important part of your walk with Jesus. We need the encouragement and support of other people who are seeking to follow Christ. We need to sit under the teaching of the Word with other Christians. And, in those moments when we feel most alone, scared, unable to worship, stressed or far from God, we need to stand among others who are seeking to live faithful lives and see and hear their faith in action. So, if you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship with God or other believers, make an effort to engage with your local body of believers.
   

2. Practice hospitality. Hospitality can mean opening up your home and life to others, but it can also mean being someone who is hospitable—open, genuine, welcoming and caring. Want to feel more connected with a coworker? Invite them to grab a quick lunch with you. Seeking to make friends with someone in your small group at church or book club? Engage them in conversation. Pay attention to the people you meet at church, at neighborhood meetings and elsewhere, and strive to make them feel welcomed and noticed. Even when you’re the one feeling disconnected, making an effort to ensure others feel connected can help you!
   

3. Get rid of barriers. Our world is full of amazing technologies and tools that make our lives easier, from our phones to earbuds to the fact that we can binge watch whatever we’d like pretty much wherever we are. And while these things aren’t innately bad, they do create barriers between us and other people. When was the last time you chatted with someone in the waiting room or in line at the grocery store? When you take a walk around your neighborhood, do you always listen to a podcast or music? You’re waiting for your kid to finish practice, but rather than connecting with other parents, you’re mentally working through your to-do list. It’s all too easy to be among people and not actually be “with” them. Look for ways you create barriers to connection in your daily life and strive to tear a few of them down, at least some of the time.
   

4. Put the focus on others. Ever had a conversation with someone who could only talk about him- or herself? You probably left it feeling a bit disconnected. Building connection and community is a give and take, meaning the focus isn’t always on you and your interests or those of the other person. In those moments when you have an opportunity to connect with someone in conversation, make it a point to really listen—not to respond, but to understand and engage. And then make sure that you provide plenty of opportunities to draw that person into the conversation without making the focus all about you.
   

5. Join in some shared experiences. Connection isn’t built in isolation. You don’t suddenly feel more connected to your small group, your coworkers or your friends if you never spend time together. Life is busy and creating shared experiences and times to get together isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. And even if you think you’d rather stay home, make the effort. Most of the time, you won’t regret it! 

How are you cultivating connection in your life during this season? Share a few of your tips in the comments.