Authentic Faith Interview Series: Death of a Dream

What does it look like to authentically seek God in faith when life doesn’t turn out like you thought?

Life isn’t always easy or perfect. We’ve all lived long enough to recognize that, but in a society that sometimes likes to make things pretty on the outside while hiding all the struggle, hurt and pain (social media, we’re looking at you!)—that’s a truth that’s easy to overlook.

This fall, we’re focusing on what it means to be authentic here at The Bookery. Living out an authentic faith means recognizing that there are going to be seasons of life when it’s more about Jesus holding on to you than you clinging to Jesus. No one’s life is perfect, and we can all learn from each other.

That’s the point of this Authentic Faith Interview series. We’re sitting down with real-life people who are walking through seasons they never really expected and striving to live an authentic faith in the middle of the mess.

Our first interview with with Anna*, a member of The Bookery community. She is walking through a hard season she never expected in her marriage. Here’s what she had to say about striving to live faithfully and authentically in the middle of a very difficult time.

I was one of those girls who had a list of baby names and a list of qualities I wanted in a guy and qualities I didn’t. Eventually, God led me to my husband, and the dream was happily ever after. I think everyone knows marriages have challenges, so I knew it wouldn’t be perfect. I knew there would be bumps in the road and didn’t expect the bump to be so extreme. The original dream I had for my marriage is just shattered.

We live in a society where the way we present our lives to others, like on social media, makes it seem like perfection is almost attainable. That just causes so much anxiety and false expectations that people can’t live up to. So, [by being authentic] and telling my story, people can know they’re not alone. We’re not all living lives that feel good all the time.

I’ve found my strength in Jesus during this season, in crying out to him. He has made himself very known to me. The peace I feel sometimes—just being able to live each day—is something I’ve found in him.

I also listen to a lot of praise and worship songs and have a playlist of songs that lift me up when I need it. When I need encouragement or support, there’s a small group of friends and godly women I’ll reach out to. I try to remind myself of the things that are true rather than the lies.

In difficult seasons, find people you can trust and things that continually point you to the truth. Christian podcasts have been really important to me, and I’ve been reading books and spending time reading the Bible. I think it’s also important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. I take my dog on walks, which is a really great way for me to pray to God and cry out to him. There have been many times when I’ve been walking and crying at the same time. Find ways to connect with other believers and with biblical truth. You really do have to constantly seek truth and constantly remind yourself about what is true and what’s a lie. We’ve got to rely on God, his Word, the Spirit, and godly believers and the tangible ways God uses them to speak to us.

Restoration will happen, but it’s going to be hard work and it’s going to take a while. We’ve just got to trust God. Trusting God—what an exercise, right?

What does authentic faith look like when life doesn’t go as planned? How do you seek to honor God and choose joy without overlooking real issues, pretending that it’s easy or acting like everything is OK? If you have insight you’d like to share as part of this series (a diagnosis, grief, loss of a dream, etc.), let us know at mandy@thebookery.org.

*Name changed